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My life is a beautiful mess

Theresa Lapensee

full of late night binges and record players,
kissing in the rain, running,
looking for change, catching cabs
that can take me
wherever the fuck
supposed to be going

i can't get enough of everything
this, that, the other, and god
give me,
give me, give me

i want to stay here indefinitely
thriving in excess
tasting your lips, and handfuls of cherries
and piles upon piles of caesars
glowing despite the windy rain,
singing amidst the off notes
laughing at the delirious hilarity
of being a girl with streaked hair and
credit card bills and shuffles of poems
who sleeps hard and long, cries at
tv sitcoms, reaches, gropes, holds
because what else is there?

I am so broken, full of pieces
that will never fit
but the instability,
indecision, confusion grows me,
pushes, warms until it's so hot
I could live till I'm dead

the ugliness is beautiful just because
it is
don't do anything but exist
and I'll crawl all over you
again and again

Theresa is currently working on her master's in english at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia. She has about 10 pieces published thus far, mainly in academic and small, literary journals. And she is 23 years old.

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