| |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Victim Impact Statement
by Gustavo Gonzalez
Please note: key names have been removed for legal reasons.
Abridgment
My name is Gustavo Gonzalez. I was born in Habana [Havana]
Cuba, on September 3rd, 1955.
Having had come to Canada in 1980, I lived and worked
in Ontario for about 5 years. Then, in 1986, while in
Guelph, Ontario, Dr. _________ physically forced me to
take mind altering drugs under threats of violence
(better known in psychiatric terms as physical
restrain) in spite of not suffering from any type of
mental illness at the time. After the initial abuse
took place, several diagnoses (in my case excuses)
where given.
How did I find myself cornered into a small room, and
threatened to be overpowered with violence
by a group of seven [care giver] individuals, is hard
for any one to comprehend.
Having had arrived in Guelph, on September of 1986, I
requested financial assistance from the local Welfare
Office and received a cheque a few days later.
Shortly afterwards I found a small job at a local
restaurant, but it did not last more than one and half
weeks. Having had worked for a few days, welfare
refused to issue a cheque for the following month.
Thus, finding myself on the verge of being evicted
from the hotel room that was my home at the time.
Some of the people I met at the local Soup-Kitchen
suggested I should ask a social worker, a doctor, etc.
at "the clinic" to write a letter endorsing an
extension of welfare, while I would continue looking
for another job. However, having had done this, I was
told that writing the letter would involve spending a
few days at The _________, "a place where you can stay
and rest for a few days".
Shortly after signing the admission forms I became an
involuntary patient. I was denied access to a
telephone to contact a lawyer, or another doctor.
Then, forced under threats of violence to take
medication I did not need several times a day, and
sent to an institution for the criminally insane as a
form of punishment!!!
The more I complained and requested legal help, the
more excuses and treatment I received. It lasted
about 9 years.
During this time, I was prescribed a variety of
anti-psychotics, Prozac, and Lithium combined with
other highly addictive mind altering drugs, such as
Halcion, Atavan, Xenex and Valium. Originally I was
forced, and thereafter instructed to take these drugs
at the same time, or in association with vital
activities, such as eat and sleep. Thus creating a
triggering mechanism, by which the need for food and
sleep always ensured the use of more medication.
As a result of the abuse I received, chemical and
otherwise, I began suffering from anxiety, fear,
shame, guilt, panic attacks, severe chest pains,
respiratory problems, sleep and visual disturbances,
behavioral disturbances, and depression. I remember
thinking that it felt like someone had a voodoo doll.
I had strange aches and pains, and plenty of
involuntary muscular contractions, spasms and
contortions all over my body. It was frightening and
confusing. I felt and acted 35 years my senior. As
much as I tried to hide the fact that my life was
literally falling apart, I couldn't.
The more vocal I got about what the medical community
was doing to me, the more retaliatory measures I
suffered. Suddenly I couldn't get a doctor. They
were rude, degrading, insulting and abusive. They
seemed to take pleasure in humiliating me. Often the
doctor would lie, and accuse me of having had
threatened to committee suicide or been in a homicidal
state of mind. Of course this was always the prelude
of what was to come; "Voluntary hospitalization" under
duress and coercion, and lots of mind numbing drugs.
I developed arrhythmia (an irregular heart beat) and
high pulse rates that, although present all of the
time, the doctors said was panic attacks. Breathing
became labored, shallow and difficult. And although I
still managed to drive a car, and my psychiatrist
could hardly believe that I could, walking from the
car to the nearest entrance, often a 50 yards affair,
became an Odyssey.
I remember asking about the drugs I was being given and
being treated like an idiot. No matter whom I tried
to tell, I couldn't stop the torture. I spent a lot
of time drooling, pacing and rocking back and worth.
I was often irritable, verbally aggressive and
sexually inappropriate. I would go from laughing to
crying. I couldn't read, focus or pay attention. I
wouldn't sleep for days on end and my body arched,
rigid and stiff from the medication. I smelled
things, heard things and saw things that weren't
there. I often refused to shower because contact with
water, or anything else including clothing, hurt. I
spent as much time as I could naked. According to
blood tests results done by the Canadian Red Cross and
a family doctor in Toronto, my blood type was now AB
positive. Having have had surgery, and donated blood
on several occasions, blood tests done before the
psychiatric abuse took place, always showed an O
positive type. Every body knows blood type does not
change with time.
I fought, screamed and sweat in my sleep. I had
nightmares about doctors, involuntary commitment,
about not been able to get out of the hospital, the
system, about been pursued for the rest of my life. I
developed a paralyzing fear of doctors - and regularly
threw their literature and questionnaires in the trash
can. I became horribly afraid of people. I felt
helpless and unable to explain to outsiders how I was
been abused, and/or seeking the appropriate legal
help.
I was so impaired by the medication and the "care
providers" where so persuasive, that eventually they
got me to admit, "I had some problems". This, I was
told, was necessary because "things will not get
better until you take that first step". Remembering
these things makes me feel very nauseated. These are
memories I would rather, and have tried very hard to,
forget.
I now realize that the motivation for keeping me
medicated was "to help me forget" that the doctor I
had gone to complain about the initial abuse, had kept
my copies of three letters originating from Oakridge -
Penetangueshen's Hospital for the criminally insane -
clearly outlining Dr. _________'s actions as "highly
questionable" and "a form of punishment."
Anyone who has not experienced this type of abuse in
their own flesh and mind can not even began to
comprehend how effectively these drugs interfere with
a person's ability to deal with his life, and how
difficult, if not impossible, getting off these drugs
really is. Those who succeed, although better off,
are left emotionally crippled, if not brain damaged.
I consider myself extremely lucky in the sense that
almost ten years after the initial abuse took place, I
met a wonderful woman who sincerely gave me the
benefit of the doubt and did something about it.
Incapable of doing anything for myself, she took me by
the hand to the local library. Within 5 minutes she
had five books on the subject of medical drugs, their
use and effects. As we were walking out the door, I
suddenly realized that I was not capable of finding a
book at a library any longer. Although it had become
increasingly difficult for me to read, and focus, she
concurred that it was possible, and probable, that the
drugs I was been prescribed were causing most, if not
all, of my health problems. With her help and that of
a family doctor, who reluctantly agreed to help me
withdraw gradually, I quit taking any and all drugs.
I withdrew violently.
Powerful drugs are only partly to be blamed for my
problems. Society is largely responsible for
upholding the laws and legislation allowing
psychiatrists to abuse any member of the society they
chose, without ever questioning the validity of their
judgement, or the reasons for what they do. It seems
that hierarchic ranks are sufficient to justify
anything. Doctors in this country enjoy unquestioned
powers and privileges that at times are above the law.
Those involved, collectively, have violated more laws
than I could ever cite. They have never and never
will be held accountable. I have learned that some
drunks, batterers and secret keepers are capable of
attaining very high scholastic achievements and
credentials, and thus capable of securing reputable
careers and social status. That some of these people
of power and privilege will exploit that power and
privilege for their own interests, and that they are
capable of destroying families without having to live
in them. My entire concept of the world has forever
changed. I will never feel safe again.
What did I do to make the doctors so angry?
After spending about two weeks in The _________, I
received the promised letter to take to the Welfare
Office. On my way there, I stopped at a retail outlet
where I had an argument with a salesman over the
exchange of an item. While in the _________, I had
used some of the money earned from my part time job to
buy a portable radio, which was not working properly.
It would have been sufficient had the salesman
exchanged it for another of the same value. However,
he refused to do that, and refused to refund my money
as well.
Angry about his inflexibility, I stormed out of the
store bumping into a stack of stereo equipment that
felt to the floor, leaving behind the letter intended
for my welfare worker in the process. The letter
briefly stated my name, and that I was a patient at
the _________. It precisely stated that: "Mr. Gonzalez
will be discharged in the next a few days. We would
appreciate any financial assistance you can provide
this man."
Upon my return to The _________ (the medical facility
where I was staying as an alternative emergency
shelter) a nurse led me to a room where, upon the
arrival of Dr. _________ and 5 other medical
personnel, I was injected with harmful chemicals under
threats of force.
No charges for any wrong-doing were ever laid in the
occurrence involving the salesman. And, although I
did not display UN-LAWFUL behavior upon my return to
the _________, the doctor refused to acknowledge my
concise requests not to medicate me. I precisely
stated that I did not want it, or need it. Dr. _________
also refused to let me use the phone to call a lawyer,
or another doctor. The unnecessary chemical abuse I
was subjected to at the time, the resulting loss of
control over my life, my health, my behavior and
credibility over the years that followed, has resulted
in irreparable damage.
I am still trying to resolve this matter of assault,
abuse, coercion to blame myself, and participation in
relationships with one or more doctors built under
coercion and duress, in a court of law - where it
belongs. However after approaching the authorities,
several lawyers, judges, legislators, and politicians,
the doctor(s) who abused me are still practicing,
billing insurance and tax payers for what they do,
enjoying their live style and status, and probably
victimizing other people. What is worse is that the
laws, rules, regulations and procedures that allow
this to happen have not changed. It seems that local
attorneys have a grab bag of reasons to reject cases
and avoid becoming involved.
Having had to struggle with chemical dependency to
doctors' deliberately pushed mind-altering chemicals,
I have lived in fear for many years. Although I have
not taken any medication since 1996, I am now aware
that medicines can be used to manipulate people as if
it were fishing lines leading to the doctors' offices.
My objective is to have Dr. __________, of London,
charged with assault with a weapon and assault causing
bodily harm. And Dr. _________, of Dundas, charged
with breach of trust and obstruction of justice.
More charges could be laid following an investigation,
as I am aware that blatant tampering with information
has been incurred in my medical files. My medical
records show that I was adopted at the age of two, and
abused by several foster parents. Details of having
suffered child and sexual abuse are documented.
References are made to a grade 8th education, and a
long history of jail sentences in Cuba, prior to
coming to Canada. None of these allegations are true,
and I have documentation to prove it.
It took me nearly 10 years of struggling with chemical
dependency to free myself from my abusers. And, only
then I became able to obtain Official Documentation
from the Government of the Republic of Cuba that
proves that I have never been convicted of a criminal
offence in Cuba, nor that I have ever been adopted.
Since "psychiatric theories" are specific about mental
illnesses, in particular schizophrenia, as been a
physical malfunction of the brain and passed on
through family genes, it appears that part of their
job is to make things fit!
Further to my case...
In the summer of 1998, a plain-clothes police officer
approached me to talk, and shed some light on my life.
The officer told me that Dr. _________ had complained
about some threatening phone calls left on his voice
mail. He told me that having had listened to the
recorded messages he was of the opinion that: a) I
knew exactly how far I "could push it without been
charged with an offence" and b) That having "carefully
chosen" my words, he was of the opinion that I was
"not crazy".
He then went further to read me "the story of my life"
briefly recounting many of the difficulties I have
experienced in the past several years, including
information not related to any wrong doing or criminal
activities, and therefore out of the scope of
conventional police work. Apparently "Big Brother"
has been busy.
He ended the conversation saying that my troubles
began in 1984-85 as a result of a botched police
investigation related to a crime, that later on, I
was found to be not connected with. I am obviously
angry because my legal problems should have been dealt
with differently, and through the appropriate
channels; not through a long string of deviant lies,
manipulation and deceit.
To understand why anyone, including myself, would have
difficulties resuming their life after such an abuse,
one must think of a person, who in spite of good
health was strapped and forced to remain in a wheel
chair for nine years. Would you expect him -or her-
to just get up and walk?
Perhaps, it has never occur to anyone that locking a
person up against their will, and without an
explanation would probably make the person angry...
that chemically restraining someone for long periods
of time would make them angrier and finally
despondent.
As result of all of the abuse I endured My Three
Passions in Life are: To achieve justice via a Class
Action Lawsuit, To bring Media Attention into the
Wide Spread Psychiatric Practice of Abuse and, To
prevent the Psychiatric Legacy of Abuse from reaching
new victims and been carried on to future generations
of patients and abusers.
Yours truly,
Gustavo Gonzalez
Gustavo Gonzalez is a Survivor of Psychiatric Abuse [not a psychiatric survivor] who lives in Ontario and hopes to make his case in a court of law some time before his death. ![]() comments about this article? give us feedback
|