.U. Sirius is the co-author of several books including How to Mutate & Take Over the World: An Exploded Post-Novel by R.U. Sirius, St. Jude & the Internet 21, and Design for Dying by Timothy Leary & R.U. Sirius. His current projects include his REVOLTING! website, and his work towards cleaning up / freeing up America with The Revolution® political movement, dedicated to "Victory Over Horseshit." Sirius is running for the U.S. Presidency in the 2000 election.
cancon
many canadians see americans as gun-toting and a bit crazed- are we completely off? how do you think your average american views canadians?
R.U. Sirius
Americans only carry guns everywhere because the goddamned space aliens have landed in my soup carrying biotoxins from Saddam Hussein and the only damn way me 'n my family 'll survive is if I go out to Highway One and shoot all the Volkswagons as they go by. Canadians? They're the goddamn space aliens that have landed in my soup carrying biotoxins from Saddam Hussein!
Seriously though? America is a pretty disunited multiculti place. A fair amount of people have guns, but not most of them. And everybody is pretty much nuts... speed damage... the toxicity at the center of the mediascape. How we see Canadians? The McKenzie Brothers, from Saturday Night Live... ay?
cancon
although we have a few national tv channels, a lot of what we get here is american programming. how do you feel about the current state of american television, and how would you like to alter it, if at all?
R.U. Sirius
Why do you think they call it programming? Still, I must praise Cartoon Planet and X Files. What would I do? Probably open up as much bandwith as possible, try to find a good reason to put the network CEO's in prison, threaten those opinion/debate shows with false advertising charges unless the person who's supposed to represent the left actually does represent the left, and use whatever influence I have to get some people to start a really hip network.
cancon
will the globalizing effect of the internet help the u.s. annex canada once and for all?
R.U. Sirius
I'm not sure if the US wants Canada. Can we make a profit on it?
cancon
how do you feel about the EURO? should north america adopt a similar monetary stance?
R.U. Sirius
Oh I don't know. Right now the banks have the actual power to print money, not the state. Maybe there should be a single global monetary system based on some semblance of reality and at the same time we should allow independent experiments in non-governmental exchange mediums and barter.
cancon
why aren't there more michael moores, noam chomskys, and r.u.s in the world?
R.U. Sirius
Football players get more sex.
cancon
what exactly would you do with a billion dollars, anyways?
R.U. Sirius
Let's see. You give me a billion dollars? First of all, there's a three week tour of my favorite local strip clubs. After that, 2/5 goes to my political party, The Revolution, 2/5 goes into a multimedia company to make a magazine that stomps Wired and America's first really hip TV network, as well as various digital media projects, and the other 1/5 goes into my checking account babyeeee......
cancon
it has been suggested that the u.s. and canada spy on each other and trade info so as not to be actually 'spying' on their own citizens.
R.U. Sirius
See, now that brings out my prejudices regarding Canadians. I immediately assume that the Canadian spies have a much more interesting job! I'm sorry. I'll report to re-education camp tommorrow for some criticism/self-criticism/criticism.
cancon
if there were answers to all of the strange and conspiratorial questions would it really matter, or would life just be boring?
R.U. Sirius
If we had all the answers, we'd unite in eternal bliss with the Canadian aliens who are in my soup with biotoxins from Saddam Hussein.
cancon
on a popular canadian tv show they go to the states and tell americans ridiculous things like "canada has just become a country" or "canada has just completed its igloo parliament" and they get americans (the arkansas governor, for one) to go on camera congratulating us on these feats. of course this isn't ALL americans, but do you feel the u.s. is too big and introspective?
R.U. Sirius
Too big and introspective? Big people should be introspective. There's nothing scarier than a gregarious big guy. Actually, it's all that spying Americans do on Canada. We know that you've completed an igloo parliament, for instance. Hah! Bet you didn't know that. By the way, did those Nicaraguan separatists win that vote?
cancon
scenario: you vs. hulk hogan, presidential cage match- what would be your plan of attack ? (remember, this could be seen as a metaphor for
your political policies).
R.U. Sirius
I strut into the ring at the last minute in heels, crotchless underwear and a pushup bra from Victoria Secrets, my hair up in a beehive. Hulk becomes flustered and confused. I put him in a hammerlock and whisper new age slogans in his ear. He falls asleep. By the time he awakens, I'm throwin' down a house party in the white house and my Attorney General, Larry Flynt, is investigating the sleaze factor in professional wrestling
cancon
is there anything you've always wanted to be asked in an interview, but never were?
R.U. Sirius
Are you availabe for live appearances or for paid freelance assignments or to be a highly paid figurehead for some hip project in our neighborhood? Why, funny you should ask. Sure. Just send me email at rusirius@well.com
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