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Oye! 2K

by Robert Marcom

have you noticed a stunning silence on the Y2K problem coming from Israel and the Western Jewish Diaspora? Perhaps not.

You should have, and it's not because they don't have computers. A survey I conducted moments before sitting down to write this article indicates that only twenty-seven Jews in the entire world don't have computers. The rest at least know somebody in the business, such as an in-law. Wouldn't you know? Twenty-seven in the whole world. Three of them are related to me.

So, why so much Semitic silence? Well, first of all, this is now the Jewish year 5760. Therein lies much information. The Western (largely Christian) population has had only one other "K" in their history. For us, it's five already. And we don't need another K real soon.

Not to mention, that Jews have another relationship with millennial celebrations. It's not for nothing that many Jews around the world are going: "Oye! 2K." The last K did not turn out well for some of us.

The Religion of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob (as if I was any authority) will probably survive a few "Y2K" computer crashes. Rabbinical students all around the world will be grateful. Have you ever tried to read religious text in Hebrew from the screen of a computer monitor? They face that trial every day. Such things could break Job.

Computers are just another historical "flash in the pants" (to use a Yiddish shooting metaphor) for those of us making our way in the 5760th year of our culture. We all know that we will be called upon, in the future, to work some other piece of techno-schmutz into our Holy Days routine.

For instance, can you imagine the headaches rabbis will have when everything is done inside a solid chip of super-silicon no bigger than a flake of dandruff? So tell me, Mr & Mz, "Almost-decided-to go-to-Reformed-Seminary:" Is that allowed on a Sabbath Day? Is there any spark present,(no lighting fires) or is there any work being done? (That's not allowed either. We're not so crazy eh?)

Don't try to figure that out. It would make Zero Mostel a crazy man. What am I saying? He is a crazy man. I wish he'd married my sister. Now, there's a guy who knows someone in the business. Are, you kidding, with all his money? Shalom on you; and a splash for your neighbors.

Robert Marcom, H,b. (Human, being)

Robert Marcom is a published writer, and the Moderator for Net Author, an on-line writers' community. He resides in Houston, Texas.
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