canconinterviews
home | about | archives | forum | submit

Interview with a barmaid

Jerry Stamatelos

marisa works on Crescent Street, Montreal's infamous strip of flesh factories.

Jerry
What do you consider the most boring drink?

Marisa
Rum and coke.

Jerry
The sexiest?

Marisa
Slippery nipple.

Jerry
What's the most perverse pickup line you've ever heard?

Marisa
Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

Jerry
The most romantic?

Marisa
You are the only reason why I came in here alone.

Jerry
What do you like most about your job?

Marisa
Meeting people.

Jerry
Why do you barmaid?

Marisa
Two nights a week pays my rent.

Jerry
What do you do during the day?

Marisa
I'm doing a graduate diploma in Management at McGill.

Jerry
Is there something bartending school didn't prepare you for?

Marisa
They should provide a course in counseling. People like talking to strangers because there's no fear of being judged, they can be themselves. I know more about people I see a couple of times a month than their own family and friends.

Jerry
Have you developed any lasting friendships with customers?

Marisa
Not really. Most give up when they come to the realization that I won't be sleeping with them.

Jerry
Working as a barmaid, does knowing that all these men want to jump your bones jade you, make you cynical about relationships, perpetuate the "all men are pigs" scenario?

Marisa
I knew what men were all about before I started bartending. Just because they're in a bar, doesn't change matters one bit. Feed men alcohol in a church basement, and the same thing would happen.

Jerry
Do you ever take your patrons home with you?

Marisa
No.

Jerry
Why?

Marisa
Because ever since I began working as a barmaid, I've been with someone.

Jerry
So, you flirt shamelessly with patrons all night knowing full well you have no intentions of pursuing matters further?

Marisa
It's fun, and the tips are better because they're trying to buy my affection.

Jerry
Have you taken their feelings into consideration?

Marisa
Hey, they know the score.

Jerry
Would you go to a bar to find a guy?

Marisa
No way.

Jerry
Why?

Marisa
I'm a lesbian.


Jerry Stamatelos is an educator, translator, freelance writer and aspiring novelist. Ocassionally, on weekends, he sheds an image characterized by dignity and propriety.

home / about / archives / forum / submit